The camel's back

Day 2

After that meeting yesterday, I shouldn't be shocked watching people clean out there desks. A not so subtle message sent to let us know that we are powerless. A pit in my stomach all day wondering why I am not one of them. A piece of pride being a survivor, but at the same time with that survivors guilt comes a reality, I am not my employers bitch.

Typing at my keys, processing the orders faster then I did the day prior, I think of all the job search engines, all the companies I can apply for jobs at, and I feel distraught. The weekend prior I had applied for almost every job on every site, but not even a nibble.

Yesterday, I watched mothers with children lose their hope at getting health coverage for their kids. Me, I lost my chance at 90% college tuition reimbursement for UPenn, the whole reason I took this job. I love those people who think hard work earns health insurance, but for me and everyone else here, no hard work can compensate for a rule that says we aren't allowed to work enough to get those benefits.

Stewing in my seat, all I could thing is Why isn't there some negative for doing this to your employees? I mean for real, our employer did this to us, and the end result, is its a positive in every way for them. We are now afraid for our jobs so we are working harder, we know we can't get benefits but it's not like any other job is giving them.

Working as fast as a can, I can feel my breath increasing, wishing someone would come save this damsel in distress. Wishing someone would come and punish my tormentors, or wisk me away to a better life. But this is my 7th job in two years, the 6 prior I quit because they cut my hours before I reached benefits. I am too tired to try again, and too hopeless to think it would make a different.